Eve -- A Special Hatred

Tuesday, December 28, 2010
A Special Hatred

The assault on femininity-its long history, its utter viciousness-cannot be understood apart from the spiritual forces of evil we are warned against in the Scriptures. This is not to say that men (and women, for they, too, assault women) have no accountability in their treatment of women. Not at all. It is simply to say that no explanation for the assault upon Eve and her daughters is sufficient unless it opens our eyes to the Prince of Darkness and his special hatred of femininity.

Turn your attention again to the events that took place in the Garden of Eden. Notice-who does the Evil One go after? Who does Satan single out for his move against the human race? He could have chosen Adam . . . but he didn't. Satan went after Eve. He set his sights on her. Have you ever wondered why? It might have been that he, like any predator, chose what he believed to be the weaker of the two. There is some truth to that. He is utterly ruthless. But we believe there is more. Why does Satan make Eve the focus of his assault on humanity?

Because she is captivating, uniquely glorious, and he cannot be. She is the incarnation of the Beauty of God. More than anything else in all creation, she embodies the glory of God. She allures the world to God. He hates it with a jealousy we can only imagine.

And there is more. The Evil One also hates Eve because she gives life. Women give birth, not men. Women nourish life. And they also bring life into the world soulfully, relationally, spiritually-in everything they touch. Satan is a murderer from the beginning (John 8:44). He brings death. His is a kingdom of death. And thus Eve is his greatest human threat, for she brings life. She is a lifesaver and a lifegiver. Eve means "life" or "life-producer."

Put those two things together-that Eve incarnates the Beauty of God and she gives life to the world. His bitter heart cannot bear it. He assaults her with a special hatred. Do you begin to see it?

(Captivating , John and Stasi Eldredge 82-85)

I was reading this email devotional this morning, and it made me once again stop and think "Why would Satan have a particular hatred for women?" I mean, the author does make some pretty good points above, but there is still that within me that thinks, "Ah, here is the world's view of feminism creeping in on our faith." (The funny [or not so funny] thing is that I have taught from this book.) Our 'traditional' Christian roots seem to be so 'male' dominated and Eve has been ridiculed for so long that to think otherwise seems sacriligious.

So, because my mind always looks for the spiritual illustration of truth, I tried to find a reason for Eve to be a particular target. I believe I have my answer, and my answer for Eve's strengths and weaknesses. I thought of Eve as representing the bride for the first Adam, just as the church is the bride for the last Adam, and I immediately saw why she became the target for the evil one.

If we think of it in those terms, by attacking Eve, not only has the evil one indirectly attacked Adam in this move, but he also has hit at the amazing work and purposes of God in the creation. But if you think of it, in attacking Eve, he also has done more to wound the heart of Adam than he would have by attacking Adam himself. (Hope that convuluted reasoning makes sense.)

I guess I can best express it in the spiritual sense. Satan cannot and does not attack God in Christ Jesus directly, rather he sets his sights on the object of His affections, the church. As Satan comes against the church to wound, pervert, and disable her, not only does he interfere in the workings of God's purposes, but he also strikes at the very object of Christ's deep affection!!

When I look at Eve in this light, it is so much easier to see her in the light she is presented in the book 'Captivating.' And it helps me to better appreciate the role I play in this battle. I am both a combatant and a target. Maybe I need to get up, take up my armor, make my stand, and fight back.

Merry Christmas and have a wonderful victorious new year!!!!

Ev


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Who is your life centered on?

The essence of salvation is denying self instead of affirming self. Henry Blackaby, Experiencing God

In Experiencing God, Henry Blackaby, et al, describes:

God-Centered Life:
- Places confidence in God
- Depends on God and His ability and provision
- Focuses on God and His activity
- Is humble before God
- Denies self
- Seeks first the kingdom of God and His righteousness
- Seeks God's perspective in every circumstance
- Chooses holy and godly living
To know and do God's will, you must deny self and return to a God-centered life.

Self-Centered Life:
- Is focused on self
- Is proud of self and self's accomplishments
- Is self-confident
- Depends on self and abilities
- Affirms self
- Seeks to be acceptable to the world and its ways
- Looks at circumstances from a human perspective
- Chooses selfish and ordinary living

Looking at the latter list and thinking of it from my own experience, I would add:
- Is ashamed of self and self's failures
- Is self-critical
- Degrades self
- Seeks to be acceptable to everyone, especially God and other believers
- Chooses self-pity and isolation

As I went through this week's study for Experiencing God, which we just started this is my 3rd time through), and especially the above section on a self-centered life vs. a God-centered life, I realized that I spend far too much time focused on my feelings and thoughts and abilities. I believe that I need to set my heart and mind on God, His promises, His words, His abilities, His thoughts, and His feelings. Rather than worrying about how I am doing (am I failing or succeeding); or about how others perceive me (am I good or bad), I need to be more focused on God's goodness and His righteousness.

It reminded me of the verse, "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you." I always struggled with "His righteousness." What does it mean to seek His righteousness?

I realized that it is all about God's goodness, justice, mercy, grace, and love! I can leave the judgment of my life to Him. My focus needs to be on Him, on who He is, what He has promised, what He is doing, and what He wants to do in my life.

How freeing to release my life to God! To not worry about how righteous or obedient I am. To just focus on His will and His leading and instruction. I got this picture in my mind of a servant who walks around all self-centered and self-pitying. How can he do anything for his Master when he is so focused on himself. A servant's job is to be focused on his Master's will, his Master's well-being, his Master's concerns.

And so, my testimony is:

I love Thee, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my Rock and my Fortress. My Deliverer, my God, my Rock in whom I take refuge; my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.

Oh, and I'll add a little something from Oswald Chambers.

If you want to know how real you are, test yourself by these words -- 'Come to me....' In every dimension in which you are not real, you will argue or evade the issue altogether rather than come; you will go through sorrow rather than come; and you will do anything rather than come the last lap of the race of seemingly unspeakable foolishness and say, 'Just as I am, I come.' As long as you have even the least bit of spiritual disrespect, it will always reveal itself in the fact that you are expecting God to tell you to do something very big, and yet all He is telling you to do is to 'Come ....'

Don't worry, just come!!!

Love,
Ev

Temptation as a Test of our God-given Possessions

Through regeneration we are lifted into another realm where there are other temptations to face, namely, the kind of temptation our Lord faced. ... Satan does not tempt us just to make us do wrong things--he tempts us to make us lose what God has put into us through regeneration, namely, the possibility of being of value to God. He does not come to us on the premise of tempting us to sin, but on the premise of shifting our point of view, and only the Spirit of God can detect this as a temptation of the devil.

Temptation means a test of the possessions held within the inner, spiritual part of our being by a power outside us and foreign to us. ... He (Jesus) went through the temptation 'without sin,' and He retained all the possessions of His spiritual nature completely intact. ~~Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

No wonder I feel that I get no where in my usefulness to God! I succumb to the temptation over and over to relinquish what God has given! Time and again, the enemy is able to stop me from growth and usefulness to God. It isn't so much about sinning, but rather laying down all the gifts and possessions and weapons before the enemy in total surrender and agreement with his demands -- "Who do you think you are?" or "Has God really called you?"

The temptation is answered only by faith! Faith in what God is doing in our lives and in His will, promises, and purposes!

Holy Spirit, please help me to stand firm in all that You have given me and in all that Christ Jesus has done for me and in all that the Father has called me to! Amen



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Let the River Flow

Our Lord's teaching was always anti-self-realization. His purpose is not the development of a person – His purpose is to make a person exactly like Himself, and the Son of God is characterized by self-expenditure. If we believe in Jesus, it is not what we gain, but what He pours through us that really counts. . . .

Our spiritual life cannot be measured by success as the world measures it but only by what God pours through us – and we cannot measure that at all. . . .

Our Lord is filled with overflowing joy whenever He sees any of us doing what Mary did – not being bound by a particular set of rules, but being totally surrendered to Him. . . .

`He who believes in Me . . . out of his heart will flow rivers of living water' – and hundreds of other lives will be continually refreshed. Now is the time for us to break `the flask' of our lives, to stop seeking our own satisfaction, and to pour out our lives before Him. Our Lord is asking who of us will do it for Him.
Oswald Chambers

Well, you haven't heard from me in a while, and I guess it is because I sank into the `dark abyss' of depression yet again. So, let me just update you by saying that I won't be moving out for the time being, I've postponed it to next year to give us all time to better prepare financially. Although I was very disappointed at the change in plans, I can see God using this time for His purposes.

Last night Dana and I went to Calvary Community Church for their Wednesday night service, and it was wonderful. The worship time was so good – no wailing guitars drowning out the congregation's singing praises to God and the songs were more worshipful than I had heard in a while. When we sang A Mighty Fortress is our God, wow, it just lifted my spirit so much!!

The message was also so good. It was expository preaching rather than taking a topic and applying some verses to it. I LOVED it!! When did we decide that we could do a better job of speaking to hearts than God's Word can do? Anyway, it was an awesome message and spoke very clearly to my heart.

So, it lifted the weight of depression that was pinning me down, and has allowed me to turn to the Lord again. Yay!!

I read the above quote from Oswald Chamber's devotional, My Utmost for His Highest, and it so ministered to my heart. What it says to me is that it is not about who I am or how good a Christian I am. It is about how open my heart is. I don't have to worry about how spiritual, how smart, how compassionate, or how wise I am. All I need to do is be open for God to pour through me what He wants to, when it is needed. I don't have to `be' anything special at all to be a conduit. It is the Source that matters.

Interestingly, I then don't have to worry about having what is needed at a particular time, don't have to worry that I will have the right words for someone's need. That's not my worry; it's up to the Source to send it through as long as I keep the channel open. Wow! So much pressure taken off!

The focus then goes back to my relationship with Him and keeping connected, keeping the channel open and clear, and letting Him direct the flow.

For me, this is big! This is freeing! This is what I needed to hear. I don't have to be `a writer' for God to pour a book through me, I don't have to be `a teacher' for God to instruct others through me, and I don't have to be `a golden vessel' for Him to flow through me. An earthen trough will work just fine so long as it is open and clear.

I don't have to be anyone special at all. I don't have to be a perky, blond polished and perfumed Christian woman dressed to the 9s. I am not the Source, not even a secondary source.

I can relax! I don't have to examine each drop of water as it passes through. If I'm connected to the true Source, I can just let it flow. I don't have to try to force it, or to shape it, or to flavor it. You can't improve on the stuff He provides!

So, for me, I need to keep the channel open, both the inflow and the outflow. Keep the channel clear of self, doubts, fears, bitterness, and lies. Let it go! I'm not in control of it, just let it flow. I'm not responsible for it. No pride. No Shame. Set it free!

Love,

Ev

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Good figs removed for their good

Thus saith the LORD, the God of Israel; Like these good figs, so will I acknowledge them that are carried away captive of Judah, whom I have sent out of this place into the land of the Chaldeans for [their] good. For I will set mine eyes upon them for good, and I will bring them again to this land: and I will build them, and not pull [them] down; and I will plant them, and not pluck [them] up. And I will give them an heart to know me, that I [am] the LORD: and they shall be my people, and I will be their God: for they shall return unto me with their whole heart. And as the evil figs, which cannot be eaten, they are so evil; surely thus saith the LORD, So will I give Zedekiah the king of Judah, and his princes, and the residue of Jerusalem, that remain in this land, and them that dwell in the land of Egypt: And I will deliver them to be removed into all the kingdoms of the earth for [their] hurt, [to be] a reproach and a proverb, a taunt and a curse, in all places whither I shall drive them. And I will send the sword, the famine, and the pestilence, among them, till they be consumed from off the land that I gave unto them and to their fathers. Jeremiah 24:5 - 10

God says here that those carried away first were sent out of Jerusalem for their good. They would be brought back again to be built and planted in the land again by the Lord. That He would give them a heart to know God, for they would return unto God with their whole heart.

This reminds me that there may be times when what seems to be judgment or punishment from God, may actually be a case of God protecting "the good figs" from a coming judgment. In Noah's day, the flood did not come until Noah's righteous ancestors had died, God took them home in death before His judgment fell. On the other hand, He had Noah prepare an ark for him and his family to carry them safely through the judgment to come. He removes some, while others He carries through the storm safely.

There are times when it is so difficult to understand why God has taken this one or that one home, perhaps leaving behind those who don't deserve His protection. Perhaps it is the mercy of God giving those who don't know Him time to repent. We cannot see what lies ahead, and it is possible that God in His mercy has removed those "good figs" to spare them from what is to come.

I think the one thing that we can always hold on to is the nature of God Himself. He is always good, and He is always just. His love endures forever!! And, I remind myself never to be so quick to interpret a tragedy as God's judgment on those affected.

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Our sufficiency is insufficient!

Came across this going through my journal:

The disciples responded in each situation as we all would respond. We are all great experts on our own limitations. When dealing with God, He invariably seems to direct us to do that which is beyond the limits of our strength, the capacity of our faith, and the sufficiency of our supply.

When He does, we always turn to Him in amazement -- amazement that all-knowing God doesn't seem to know our limitations -- so we tell Him all about how insufficient we are. Remember Moses' "Who am I?"

I think we should finally get the point -- God chose us specifically for our insufficiency! In fact, if we do feel sufficient, He must first show us we're not, before He can use us.

The disciples felt sufficient to cross the lake without Jesus. He sent them on without Him and not a murmur of protest is uttered. They felt sufficient -- they were fishermen. But their sufficiency was sorely tested and found to be insufficient. Even for that which is familiar and for which we are well-experienced, we must learn to remain in His presence. We must learn to go only in His strength even when we have already traveled that path and it is familiar. When we know the lesson, when we know the choruses, when we're comfortable with the program -- even then, we must not go without Him. We must never go in our own sufficiency.

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My vacation - Episode 2

OK, finally getting back to writing about my trip to Jordan. I left off with my preparations to leave.

Leith took me to the airport Saturday morning and I caught the flight to Chicago. The flight was jam-packed, but I had a good seat in the last row on the aisle, so it wasn't too uncomfortable. The flight was delayed into Chicago due to bad weather over Chicago, and I started getting worried about missing my flight to Amman. If you hadn't heard, Eyad was supposed to be on the flight with me, but the airline rescheduled him, so I would be traveling alone from Chicago to Amman.

Our flight to Chicago finally landed at about 7:00 pm, and the flight to Amman was supposed to leave at 9:00 pm. I was really worried about getting my bags and getting over to the international terminal in time. As I got off the plane, I was praying that I would find an abandoned cart to help me move more quickly through the airport. Getting off the plane, I immediately spied a cart off by itself, and I grabbed it! Thank You, God!!! (By the way, if you do any flying, be sure to have a credit card with you. I didn't think I would need it, so I left mine at home for my son to use in emergency. You need it for just about everything!!! Checking your bags and renting a cart! DOH!!!)

I rushed down and finally got my bags, then ran like crazy to take the tram to the international terminal. Luckily, the check-in desk is right inside the terminal, and I made it with a little time to spare. My son, Eyad, was so good to me the entire trip, and he really went out of his way to get me bumped up to first class on the international flight. They even sent me on to the VIP lounge to wait for boarding of my flight. Have you ever been in the VIP lounge?? They have all kinds of snacks available, alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks, coffee, tea, just about everything! The seats are MUCH more comfortable than the regular seats at the gates! What a treat it was!

First class on the plane was amazing! It has been a long time since I have flown internationally (18 years to be exact), and things have changed so much. We were barely seated on the plane when the flight attendants came around with drinks, hot towels, and a little flight kit (sleep mask, socks, and ear plugs). The chairs are amazing, and recline totally into a bed. And each seat has its own personal screen, so you can watch the movie, or choose from several other channels of programs! It was amazing!

It wasn't long after take off, that they brought our dinner trays. The trays had rolls, salad, desert, and something I didn't recognize. I thought, "great dinner," so much better than I remember coach meals. So I ate it, and it was delicious. However, I was surprised, because they came back with entrees, a choice of lamb, catfish, pasta, or chicken. The chicken was marvelous!

Breakfast in the morning was also superb. We received a tray, and then they came around with a cart of omelets, sausages, mushrooms, potatoes, croissants, and rolls. It was so good.

The other neat thing about the flight was that before and after the movies, they showed our flight progress on the screen. It was really cool to see where we were and what we were flying over. BTW, they showed two movies, the first was Sherlock Holmes and then they showed an Arabic movie.

Going through the airport in Amman was miserable after so many hours of flying. In the terminal, I got in the line for foreigners, which took a half hour or so. When I got up there, the guy told me I was in the wrong line, I needed to get in the line for those without a visa. So, I got in that line, but after waiting a while, noticed a sign that said I needed Jordanian money to pay for the airport taxes. So, I had to get out of line, go to the money changer to exchange some money. By the time I got back into the right line, I had a good hour wait to go through check in.

Thankfully, after going through the lines, I found Eyad waiting with my bags! We were ready to go! The drive into the city was quite a bit different than I remember it. There is so much development going on there, things are so different than they were when I was last there!

But you know, when we got to the house, it was like I was coming home. We are all a little older, but otherwise, it was so good to be back with them, to see them all again! They are the most welcoming and wonderful family!

The building is 5 stories high with a garage under the first floor. When I lived there, my family lived on the first floor, which is now rented out to a pharmaceutical company. My mother-in-law,Sameha; her sister-in-law, Saleema; and my sister-in-law, Fadia, live on the second floor with a live in helper, Selwa. The third floor is occupied by my brother- and sister-in-law, Mohammed and Haiffa, with their two sons, Hamze and Youssef, who have just completed university. I stayed with them while I was there. The fourth floor is currently rented out to a doctor; and my son, Eyad, rents the fifth floor apartment. It is a wonderful way to live, all the family together, and yet, with privacy.

The house hasn't changed much, very beautiful and stylish (they are much better at decorating than I have ever been). However, they have installed air conditioning, mostly in the living room. They are room-type units rather than central units. But I am sure that they make things much more comfortable during the summer. I should mention that the buildings are made from cement block faced with decorative stone outside and plastered within. The neat thing about this building structure is that it does moderate the heat somewhat in the summer.

Well, that's about all I have time for right now. Next message will have more about the actual vacation time, I promise.

Love,
Ev

Treasure . . . In my room!!!

Wow! Have I told you? I have amazing treasure in my room. Treasure that I am totally unwilling to trust to a bank vault. Treasure that I love to take up and handle and examine! I am so rich beyond anything I could ever have imagined or hoped for!

The treasure, the one thing I would ask God to allow me to take to heaven with me, is my journal. It is the record of my relationship with God. As prized and cherished love letters reflect the relationship between two lovers, my journal contains the very words of God spoken to my heart over the years.

Lord, how precious they are to me! And I truly thank God for speaking and relating to me in this way so that I have the opportunity to return to this treasure chest over and over throughout my life, especially when times get rough. "Hearing" His words to me over and over again is so encouraging and comforting; there is absolutely no-thing in this world of greater value to me.

If I could ever pass on any one piece of advice or encouragement to those I love, it would be to spend time in God's presence and record in a journal those things you have heard and seen and experienced in that time with the Lord. It is a place you can be totally honest with yourself and with God, and a place that He can meet you very personally and powerfully!

Love,
Ev

Something Different!

OK, I did something very . . . ummmm, different. Last night I went out to a singles' dance. A new acquaintance told me about a group called "Calculated Couples" that they participated in and they thought I might enjoy it. I was pretty excited about it, and even went out an got a couple of new dresses as my wardrobe is bordering on the shabby.

Well, I went last night and, boy, all the memories of past efforts at the singles' scene came rushing back to me. "What was I thinking," went through my mind more than once.

As usual, the group was heavily lopsided with way more women than men. And, maybe it was just my imagination, but there was an atmosphere of anxiety in the room.

I was a little (more than a little) disappointed that no one asked me to dance, although the women around me were approached numerous times. Started feeling, "What is wrong with me?" Well, I know that I am overweight, which I know feeds my insecurities big time. But I am by no means hideous. But I have realized the past few years that I project something that is un-attractive (that does not attract the opposite sex). Not quite sure what it is, but I know that I have it.

Well, actually, I do have a clue. There was one time when I actually did attract the attention of a guy I met at a wedding. And, I believe the reason I did was because when we first met, I was totally uninterested in him and was not trying to attract him. So, I am thinking that the problem is that guys can tell when you are anxious or insecure, and it is a turn off.

You probably know that I have been divorced for about 14 years now. Since that time, I vacillate between "Oh, God, I am so lonely, and I really long to experience true love in my life just once before I die," and "Lord, I guess it is not your will for me to find anyone for companionship and support. Perhaps you want me to rely only on You. I am content with that, Lord."

I guess the truth is, I am somewhat content with my life, and I could finish out my life without a "relationship" if that is God's will. And, I can recognize the benefits of the single-life. When I was married, I struggled so much with being faithful to God and yet also giving my time and attention to my husband. As Paul said,

He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please [his] wife. 1 Cor 7:32-33

But now and again, the longing comes over me for that intimate relationship with whom I have truly become "one flesh," with one who loves and respects and encourages me at the most personal levels, and whom I can respect and support and love. Having been married for 23 years, I never really experienced that. (And I know that many married women never experience that.) Yet, that is the longing.

I guess I need to spend some time with the Lord and find out once and for all what it is He really wants for me. Haven't really asked Him. Could I be avoiding asking Him because I don't want to know, or am afraid of what He will say? Hmmm. I don't think so. But you know, the truth is, it is always so much easier to just go about doing what I want to do rather than taking the time and the risk of sitting down with God to find out what He has to say.

So, I guess that is my answer. And if I remember and if I have the time to write about it, I'll let you know what God has to say.

In my flesh, my idea is to go at least once or twice more, with the idea of discovering that place inside of me that is so un-attractive and to deal with it. To overcome that insecurity and that form of desperation that rears its head every now and then. And, to finally let go of the longing and the indecision.

Ev

Confidence, Approval, Understanding, Influence

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. For by it the elders obtained a good testimony. By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible. By faith Abel offered to God a more excellent sacrifice than Cain, through which he obtained witness that he was righteous, God testifying of his gifts; and through it he being dead still speaks. Hebrews 11:1-4

I've finished my group studies for now (will probably pick something up in the fall), so I've gone back to my long-standing friend, "Search the Scriptures." I am taking up where I left off. I will get back to the Revelations study, but just wanted to share some things that hit my heart this morning.

verse 1

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for." You can "see" it, you can "taste" it. You know the surety of what you are holding onto because of the One who promised. It is not so vague as, "Oh, I hope . . . ." It is a firm belief and trust that even though you cannot see it right now, you have it! You know that God will not fail.

"The evidence of things not seen." Faith is walking through the darkness in confidence! It is letting go of those things we feel we must control or life will spin off into chaos. It is surrender of my will and my way to the will of the One who has promised and who loves me more than I love myself.

So, I ask myself: Have I surrendered control? Have I given up holding onto the things that seem to keep me grounded? Or have I let them go into the hands of the One who truly holds my life together? Do I have faith to walk through the darkness and confusion with confidence?


verse 2

"For by it the elders obtained a good testimony." Men of old, the elders, Old Testament saints, obtained a testimony by their faith. God included them in His narrative not because they were the most successful, the most famous, the strongest, the best looking, or the most talented. He included them because they believed Him and it changed their lives and changed the world. Thousands of years later, we know who Abel, Noah, Abraham, Esther, Rahab, Ruth, Sarah, Moses, Joshua, etc. were because of they were willing to step out in faith in a God whom they could not see. (And they did not have Holy Spirit dwelling within them, as we are so blessed to enjoy because of Christ.) God testifies to their faith in His Word! There may be failing and stumbling, yet God's testimony is of their faith. How much more awesome could it be than to have God himself testify about my life, that I walked by faith.

And, again, I ask myself, if God were to testify of my life, what would it sound like? What would He choose to mention? And where would He be silent? What do I focus on? Am I working for success, for notice, for acceptance? Or, am I seeking for a relationship with God that will give me the confidence to walk where I cannot see and follow when I cannot understand? Do I know Him well enough to trust Him with my life and all that matters to me?


verse 3

"By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible." It is by faith that we believe the account of the creation, even as the world tries to explain God away. Faith believes because God told us. We don't demand that God give us with scientific proof to back it up. I know there are differences of opinion as to the reading of Genesis, and that is fine. But it all goes back to the basics. And if we cannot believe that God created the heavens and the earth by speaking it into being, then how can we believe that the death of one Man two thousand years ago affects our eternal condition? God has given us His description of the events. Science is wonderful. It is an opportunity to observe and to learn from the world around us. But when we allow what we "see" to rule, can we be walking by faith? Just my opinion. The Word says that God spoke the universe and time itself into existence.

A commentary I read after I finished my study brought to my attention the concept that faith brings understanding. It is as we step out in faith that we are able to understand. As long as our hearts are coming from the "prove it" or "show me" point of view, my understanding is limited and short sighted. Basing our belief only on what we can see, quantify, and examine, limits our understanding to the physical and ignores the eternal realities and supernatural involvement of God in His creation.

Do I believe by faith in God's account of the creation? How do I balance science and faith? How can I communicate this? Do I believe the Word of God, or do I pick and choose what is "believable"? Am I prone to explaining away the things of Scripture that are beyond my experience and my understanding? How does such faith, or lack of, affect my relationship with God and my relationship to the world around me? Do I allow for the supernatural and the eternal in my exploration of the world?


verse 4

(Now this is where it got good for me this morning!) "By faith Abel offered to God a more excellent sacrifice than Cain, through which he obtained witness that he was righteous, God testifying of his gifts; and through it he being dead still speaks." Abel's faith was expressed in his offering. By faith, his offering was a "better sacrifice" than Cain's. Cain seemed to have missed the whole point of the offering, perhaps because of his lack of faith. He was going through the motions with no concept of what his offering represented.

Abel brought the "firstborn of his flock", the fat portion, and the Lord looked at it. The word is "shaah", which means a look, a moment, to gaze at or about. This seems more than a glance. Could Abel's offering have blessed God in such a way that He paused and looked intently at it. I think possibly that God was captivated by Abel's offering because it was one of the first representations of His Son. Nothing grabs God's attention more than something to do with His Son. And this sacrifice of the firstborn lambs must have touched God's heart!

There is something in Abel's offering that seems to indicate an understanding of what it is God truly wants, and I believe that can only come from a relationship and personal knowledge of God Himself. I have heard that it is believed that God must have told Adam and his family what type of offerings He required. There is no Scripture to indicate that He did, but it is very possible that He did so. However, I wonder if it isn't just as possible that Abel's relationship with God was such that he understood what type of offering would please Him. That Abel sought the Lord and sought to please Him, and that his desire led him to an offering that would cause God to catch His breath at the sight of it.

It doesn't say whether Cain brought the best of his crops or just his crops. There are first fruits offerings that are detailed in the Law of Moses. So, it wasn't a "wrong" offering. But perhaps his heart was not where it should be. He was offering God what he had, but did not seek to know what it was that God want, what would please Him. And then he was bent out of shape because God "looked at" Abel's offering and not his. It wasn't so much the offering that fell short, God did not indicate that there was anything wrong with it. But Cain recognized the difference in God's reaction to Abel's offering and to his own.

It goes on to say that the testimony Abel received of God was that he was righteous, and God testified of his offerings, his gifts. Because of his faith, even though he is dead (and he was actually the first one to die physically), he still speaks. What does he say? Is it that his life speaks to us of faith, or that by faith he is still living and speaking? Does he still speak as the first righteous one put to death by his brother, again, a picture of Christ. Both in his offering and in his death, Abel pointed to the Son of God who would die at the hands of His brothers due to jealousy.

And so I ask, what of my offerings? Do they reveal faith in God, both in their quality and in their substance? Or, are they given as a mere meeting of a requirement which I do not understand? Are they given based on what others say or what I think will suffice? Or, do I have such a knowledge and relationship with God that I know and understand what He wants? And what does God testify of my offerings?

My life and my death, do they point to my Savior? Do I reveal Christ by my life, my giving, my choices, my actions? Abel knew nothing of Christ, yet his actions pointed so clearly to the Lamb of God, the way I believe he did that was through a life of relationship and seeking God. I believe that relationship led him, God led him to a sacrifice that pointed to Christ. Do I have such a relationship that in the midst of the contradictory voices of what God wants I understand Him and His will. If so, my life must point to Christ. If not, it may be a good life--I may bring my first fruits--but it won't capture God's attention, and I won't obtain God's testimony of my life.

By faith we walk in confidence. God testifies to faith in our lives, not success, strength, or beauty. Faith gives us a foundation for understanding the world around us and the world beyond our senses. By faith we can know what will please God, which is anything and everything to do with Christ, and our lives can speak far beyond ourselves.

Love,
Ev

Preparing for my trip to Jordan

OK, as I said, it is about time that I tell you about my trip to Jordan. I’ve probably told some of you how awesome it was, but as I wrote a particular journal of my trip, I am going to use it to take you through the trip with me. I’ll also try to add some of the pictures we took.

For me, my vacation actually began about a week earlier. I was so excited because my sweet friends Helen and John invited me over for dinner at their home. Helen and John seem to always express God’s heart to me, and they are so encouraging and loving. When I find myself in the pits, they seem to know just the right things to say and do to draw me out. Don’t you love folks like that in your life!!!

Anyway, I was SO looking forward to a nice dinner with them. I arrived and rang the bell, and Helen appeared at the door, telling me that she had forgotten to tell me . . . that it was a surprise Bon Voyage party!!! I think I was stunned for a good 5 to 10 minutes! A small group of some of my favorite women had gathered to wish me Bon Voyage! How cool is that?

It was exactly the kind of party I love: food, sharing, singing, and prayer! I felt so LOVED! It was just the right size, not too many people, very relaxed and warm. Helen is such a wonderful hostess. She is very creative and the decorations were amazing.

After dinner, PRESENTS!! Each thing was so wonderfully thoughtful, and just what I needed for my trip!! How overwhelming and thoughtful!!! It was the most amazing beginning for my trip!

As I was getting ready to leave, the next week was so bitter-sweet. Leaving one part of my family behind to visit another part is never easy. In the week before, Alex said, “I love you, Grandma.” And I realized how much I am going to miss everyone.

I ordered a couple of books to take with me to read on my vacation. One of the books, Eleventh Guest, by Bodie and Brock Thoene was the selected book for the book club I am a part of. But I also bought a second book by these authors as their books are historical fictions dealing primarily with Jerusalem and Israel. I love the history of Israel and Jerusalem and the Jews, especially as it relates to my Christian heritage. So, I thought the second book would be a good read.

Friday, April 23rd, I packed my suitcases. It was such a crazy day trying to get packed and last minute things done. My head finally hit the pillow probably around midnight, but then I kept waking up all night dreaming that I was late for my flight. But I think, too, that sleeping without my CPAP (breathing apparatus for sleep apnea) was contributed to my poor sleep. Thank God, I woke up on time the next morning to get on the road to the airport. I made my flight in plenty of time.

Well, I didn’t actually get to the trip, but that will be for next time.

Ev

Catching Up!

OK, so it has been quite some time since I’ve written anything. I am not sure why I am having such a problem with writing. I have had things I’ve wanted to share, but just have not been able to get anything onto paper, so to speak. So, as I am working this morning and waiting for SQL scripts to run, I decided to just start writing, about anything. So, I hope you will excuse me if this is rambling or a little disjointed ‘cause I’m not sure what I am writing about or where I am going with this.

So, what is going on in my life at the moment? Well, to give you fair warning, I am in depression again, which is weird because I have been doing the things I should. I am guessing that a big part of this is due to my return from vacation and the high one always gets when you are away from responsibilities, problems, and work.

But, I know that I have also been affected by my youngest son, Leith, moving out of our house. Leith is a young MAN of 25, and I know it is time for him to step out on his own. He has a great job, with excellent opportunities, and it is time for him to be responsible for himself. I am so happy for him, I really am. But it is hard for me to let him go. As I said, he is the youngest, and he has always lived with me. My oldest son is married, and my second son is living in the middle east, so very far away. Leith was the one I was holding onto for companionship and emotional support. (Selfish, I know.) So, I know that this is also affecting me.

There are some other things that are troublesome right now, but they affect other family members and I don’t feel comfortable sharing them.

And then there is my connection with the body of Christ. We have hit the summer, time when things wind down because so many people are going here and there for vacations and day trips. Our Experiencing God study is over and the I Saw the Lord study is over, so I feel disconnected on that end as well. Hmmmm. Feeling pretty sorry for myself; well, not really. It isn’t so much that I feel sorry for myself as I just feel blahhh.

Anyway, enough about that. Let see, what else can I focus on?????? Hmmmmmm. What are some of the things that are rattling around in the back of my head? Things I am thinking about, but at an unconscious level. (Wow, sounds interesting, doesn’t it? Feel free to move on to something else in your inbox.)

Read some interesting fiction books lately, both by Bodie and Brock Thoene. I read one for a group I am part of, Lit ‘n Lattes, which is part of our women’s ministry. I had seen books by the Thoenes, but never really thought to read them because I am not usually interested in fiction books. However, as I said, Eleventh Guest (A. D. Chronicles), was the book chosen by our book club, so I took it and a second book, Jerusalem Vigil The Zion Legacy: Book One, on vacation with me.

It was so interesting because as I understand it, these writers tend to focus their books around Jerusalem and Israel. And I started the second book just before we went to Jerusalem, which was so cool because the book deals with events in the Old City, which is where we spent most of our time. The book really gave me a good feel for the events of the story.

I also saw a really good movie called O, Jerusalem. This was about two men who met and became friends in the US following WWII, one is Jewish and the other is Arab. Both of them are drawn into the conflict surrounding the creation of the state of Israel. The neat thing is that their friendship endures even as they fight on opposite sides and each one loses loved ones.

That reminds me, I do so need to share an account of my trip. I’ll try to do that tomorrow, or at least start it. By the way, I really do recommend the books and the movie mentioned above. I think that the further we go along, the more important Jerusalem is going to become for all our lives. God has chosen that city out of all the world, out of all the universe, to put His name upon it. There is no place like it!!!

Love,
Ev

New Blog started for Bible Study

Hi, again! OK, as I just published the introductory study for the Book of Revelation, I realized that I wasn't happy with having it here in my regular blog. I hate the idea of a continuing study thread to be intermixed with the other day to day stuff. Therefore, I copied it and started a new blog that will be specifically for Bible Study. I will start out with my study of Revelation, and if I ever finish it, I will go on from there. But, I did want to let you know that I will not be posting the remainder of the study here. You can find the study at: http://ev-study.blogspot.com/

Sorry if this is confusing.

Anyway,
Ev

Study: The Book of Revelation!

I have just begun a study of the book of Revelation with my awesome friend, Leanne. And, just for the fun of it, I thought I would share some of my personal study with you. I remind you first that I am NOT a theologian, and I certainly may get some things wrong. But for what it is worth, I will share some of my thoughts on what I am reading.


INTRODUCTION:

The Revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave Him to show to His bond-servants, the things which must soon take place; and He sent and communicated it by His angel to His bond-servant John, who testified to the word of God and to the testimony of Jesus Christ, even to all that he saw. Blessed is he who reads and those who hear the words of the prophecy, and heed the things which are written in it; for the time is near. John to the seven churches which are in Asia: Grace [be] unto you, and peace, from him which is, and which was, and which is to come; and from the seven Spirits which are before his throne; And from Jesus Christ, [who is] the faithful witness, [and] the first begotten of the dead, and the prince of the kings of the earth. Unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood, And hath made us kings and priests unto God and his Father; to him [be] glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen. Revelation 1:1-6

We usually read Revelation to understand what is coming, to be prepared. It is often portrayed as a doomsday scenario and is likened by the world to the writings of Nostradamus. However, this is first and foremost a revelation from Jesus Christ to the Church, and so I would expect it to be much more about encouraging and strengthening rather than about fear and terror. Certainly, what is written here will reveal the Person of Jesus Christ and what is to come to the world, but mainly what is to come from the viewpoint of His bond-servants. And, I believe that as the reality of this revelation begins to unfold in time, Jesus Christ will also be revealed as Lord to all the world and to the powers of darkness, as well as to His beloved in all His glory!

God the Father is source of this revelation, and He has intended it specifically for the bond-servants of His Son. God, the Father, has given this revelation to His Son for His church, for His body. As much as all Scripture is inspired by Holy Spirit, yet this revelation seems different. It is specifically given from the Father to Jesus and then communicated to John by an angel to be specifically shared with the body of Christ!

This revelation is written in the sense that these things are imminent. We are to be prepared, watching, waiting, and aware. It is so easy to get caught up in the sense that day by day things just go on as they have always done. Yet, we are to be the faithful servants watching and waiting expectantly for our Lord’s return (see Mark 13:34-36).

John presents himself as an eye-witness, faithfully sharing all he has seen and experienced. He is not writing from his heart, teaching doctrine, or sharing his opinions, but rather he is laying out all that was shown him.

I find it so interesting that this book should promise blessing for those who hear it and heed the things which are written in it. Although we are definitely blessed by reading any part of the Bible. Yet, this is the only part of the Bible (that I can remember) that specifically promises such a blessing. Isn't it the Gospels or Romans or the Psalms that we look to first for a blessing? I wonder what there is in this book that holds such promised blessing. What is there here that we would not find elsewhere? What does it have to reveal that should bless us so?

This prophecy is sent to the seven churches in Asia by the grace and peace of God. I do believe that this book was originally sent to the actual seven churches in Asia. However, because the Bible uses the number seven to indicate "fullness" or "completeness," I also believe that it is intended for the whole body of Christ.

Greetings of grace and peace are sent to the churches from Him which is, which was, and which is to come -- I love that title, doesn't it echo the "I AM WHO I AM" of the Old Testament? And yet, the "is to come" pictures the returning of Jesus Christ. So interesting and so very deep. One of the things that I find interesting (as echoed in the Jewish New Commentary) is how much of Revelation is built on Old Testament references and imagery. And I will certainly try to use commentaries and the references in my study Bible to look back to the Old Testament roots for the revelations.

From the "seven spirits" which are before His throne. I have to admit that I find the "seven spirits" a little hard to understand. However, I believe this to be the Holy Spirit Himself. The fact that He is mentioned in this reference between the Father (the "I AM") and the Son (Jesus Christ), confirms it for me. I also did find that The Jewish New Testament Commentary by Daniel H. Stern points out that there are two passages in the Old Testament prophets that suggest the Holy Spirit is related to the number seven. Isaiah 11:2 lists seven attributes of the Spirit, and Zechariah 4:2-10 which associates some of the "seven" imagery of Revelation with the Spirit.

(1)Jesus Christ is referred to as the "faithful witness" (or faithful martyr). He is the One who can be trusted by the church as the One who witnessed the truth of the Father in His life, in His own death, and through His own death. It is through Jesus Christ that we can know the Father and the truth. I am reminded of how deceptive and confusing this life can be. Someone has said that this world is a sort of digital or virtual reality and not the true substance of reality. Jesus Christ, as the Son of the Father, has given us a glimpse of true, substantial reality.

(2)He is also described as the first begotten of the dead, which says that because of His resurrection, we also anticipate our resurrection to eternal life in fellowship with God. No matter what this world gives us, no matter what we face in the here and now, this is not all there is. We know that after this short time of trial and struggle, there is a hope and a future for us that will not end!! Halleluiah!!

(3)The Prince of the kings of the earth, King of kings and Lord of lords, every knee shall bow before Him. Every tyrant and despot will one day have to bow before Him. Even now those who seem to exercise such power and sway over our lives are actually only given such power as our Lord will allow them. Even Jesus told Pilate that any power he had to execute or free Him was only what authority was granted to him for God's purposes. No matter what comes our way, we can trust our lives are firmly in the hands of our Lord and Savior.

(4)He loves us.

(5)He has cleansed us from our sins by His own blood.

(6)He has made us a new Kingdom, a new Nation. We are no longer of this world, we have become a part of His Kingdom in this world.

(7)And He has made us to be priests unto God, His Father. Serving before His Father in the office of priest.

It is for these seven reasons that the glory and the dominion are to Him for ever and ever!!! (Another use of the number seven. No, I do not believe in numerology. However, God has chosen to use numbers within His Word in very specific ways. The book of Revelation uses the number of seven very extensively as we will see.



Well, I hope that you may have gotten something out of this. I am so excited as Leanne and I are going through this study together. I truly believe that God has provided this book to the Church of Jesus Christ for some very specific purposes, and I take very seriously the promise of blessing for studying and obeying what the Lord has given us in this book. As I said, I am no theologian by any stretch of the imagination, but I hope that this will at least give you a taste of what this book has to offer.

Love,
Ev

The "Code" vs Relational Obedience

Hi!

Still reading through my journal. I am up to 1993. I came across this today, and as I finished the project I was assigned for work, I thought I would forward it on to you. I hope it is not too dense. I am trying not to forget you, but work sometimes gets me to the place that I just don't want to spend another moment on the computer. :-(



I see two characteristics that Jesus condemned in the Pharisees:

• They had built up the traditions of men to have equal merit with Scripture, with God's law. In some cases, their tradition overruled Scripture entirely. These traditions had become accepted as law, even when they sometimes contradicted the true Law God had given to Moses.

• Their concern was strictly for outward observance of the law; they we were concerned mainly with appearances. Rather than seeking God with their whole hearts, their desire was to be "seen" keeping every law, living every religious principle, and appearing pious to all. And they were sure to hold high the standard of (self) righteousness while taking note of all those who were failing to do likewise.

Yes, it is very easy to fall into this, and "religion" encourages us to do so. First, it seems so much easier to live by a set of standards and principles or rules -- the "code" -- than it is to take the time to draw near to God and allow Him to have His way in our lives. After all, God may have some things to say about our favorite past times that we don't want to hear. We want a chance to look over the list and decide ahead of time whether or not we are willing to live with the rules.

Then, having a list of rules and regulations makes it that much easier to live just up to the minimum standard, believing God is quite pleased with us. Of course, if we slip up, we claim God's mercy and understanding. This makes our lives so much easier in a sense, all we must do is learn "the code." It doesn't matter whether it is a Scriptural mandate or a man-made obligation; in fact, the man-made commandments often take on greater weight than the Scriptural. (Thou shalt not smoke! vs Thou shalt not bear false witness! or Do not spread slanderous gossip among your people.)

It is so easy to learn "the code" and so difficult to press into God Himself and to seek Him, His will, and His ways. It is much easier to conform ourselves to Christian "images" (our ideas of what a Christian should look like - right hair, right politics, right clothes, right vocabulary) than it is to live in simple relationship and obedience to God day by day. But the religious "yoke" can become unbearable if we really go after it. In fact, the religious yoke has two edges to it. It comforts and pacifies those who are content to be "good enough," while it drives to distraction those who want to fulfill every appearance of righteousness in the eyes of all their religious friends.

And, you know, while the religious yoke is sure to win admiration and applause, the one who seeks after God Himself and a relationship of obedience to Him may actually find himself misunderstood and judged false because he will not always live up to the man-made standards. He may not look "right," his political viewpoint may be perceived as antagonistic to the "Christian" worldview, and he may not have all the "Christianese" down. A true follower of Christ will not always live up to the religious code, even as Christ was condemned for healing on the Sabbath, eating with tax gatherers and sinners, and pardoning the adulteress.

(taken from my journal entry of 6/20/93)

So, I just want to encourage you. Don't settle for fitting into the Christian mold, for being good enough. Push in to know God! He has made Himself available through Christ at an unimaginable cost to Himself. He loves you and He wants you to know Him. He wants you to walk with Him day by day, learning from His Spirit and following His lead. It may not be as easy as living by a "code," but I can promise you that it will be an amazing adventure and worth the effort!

Love,
Ev

Relationship First!

I know all the things you do. I have seen your hard work and your patient endurance. I know you don't tolerate evil people. You have examined the claims of those who say they are apostles but are not. You have discovered they are liars. You have patiently suffered for me without quitting. But I have this complaint against you. You don't love me or each other as you did at first! Look how far you have fallen from your first love! Turn back to me again and work as you did at first. If you don't, I will come and remove your lampstand from its place among the churches. Rev. 2:2-5

All that God has done, He has done with the primary purpose of relationship! He created us for relationship with Him and has redeemed us at great cost to restore that relationship. egn 6/30/2007

I read an article in Christianity Today regarding Pastor John Piper, who is going to take an eight-month leave of absence from public ministry, and I followed the link to his letter regarding the leave. Please take a moment to read his letter at :

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/TasteAndSee/ByDate/2010/4555_John_Pipers_Upcoming_Leave/

It is so encouraging to find a minister who is willing to step back from a flourishing public ministry to rebuild his relationships with God, his wife, and his children. Too often all of us find ourselves trying to push through when what we really need to do is to step back into the loving arms of our Lord and rediscover our first love and passion.

Love,
Ev

Just a couple of thoughts for today . . .

God is personally involved in even the smallest areas of His creation. He is not an impersonal God stamping out His creation with a mold and an automated press; but He is more like a potter whose hands personally mold and form the clay in intimate, loving contact. With a God who is so intimately and lovingly involved in His creation, we cannot believe He is unaware, unconcerned, nor that He has left us on our own.



It is only when we see God that we can truly see ourselves. When Isaiah saw God, he said, "Woe is me for I am a man of unclean lips." Somehow in a revelation of God, we also recognize the truth about ourselves.

Ev

Only a God like You . . .

Only a God like You would want me to keep bugging You for my needs and longings and fears and hurts (persistence); only a God like You would want me to continually be in Your presence, freely and joyfully sharing with You every moment of my life (unceasing); only a God like You would want me to freely and confidently to enter into Your presence (confidence). Prayer is such an awesome privilege, joy and blessing! Teach me to pray!

Flowers along the way

The Lord leads those who seek Him into paths of struggle and rest which lead to a cleansing of the life and to righteousness. What we could not, by self-control and self-will overcome in our live, He leads us to drop from our lives as we follow Him. And what joy to follow, to obey, and to find blessings as flowers all along the way. The funny thing is that these flowers may have once appeared to our 'selfish-self' to be thorns or weeds. They have been unveiled! Struggle and 'discipline' from the Lord's hands are recognized as blessings when the veil of 'self' is removed.

Things to Remember!

Hi! These are just some things that God wants me to remember, and I thought He might just want you to remember some of them as well.

• Pray more than I plan and work. I need to learn to let Him work in and through me rather than me trying to work for Him. Spend more time seeking His will and His ways rather than trying to reason everything out for myself and doing it in my own strength.
• Listen more! Prayer is more than giving God my "wish list" or crying out to Him for my needs. Prayer is two-way communication. I need to spend more time listening for what God wants to say, rather than just talking His head off. Solitude and silence are so important, look for opportunities to find that place where I can hear that still small voice more clearly.
• Time and Focus! I wonder sometimes how God feels as He sees me rushing off to this or that, spending time with this one and that one, while I short-change Him day after day. I need to commit to spending more time drawing apart to meet with Him, to get to know Him through His Word -- where He has chosen to reveal Himself -- to listen to Him, to share my heart with Him. I also need to learn to focus my heart on Him throughout my day. It is so easy to get caught up in the day, but I NEED to remember to keep my focus on Him throughout the day -- to pray without ceasing, carrying on a conversation with Him throughout the day.
• Lordship! Oh, how I need to submit EVERY area of my life to His Lordship -- recognizing that He wants to be Lord over even what I eat and drink, what I buy, what I spend my "free" time doing. EVERYTHING!
• Obey! Simply, just to obey Him!
• Learning to live a God-centered life rather than a self-centered life. Not focusing on "my rights", or "my desires", or "my feelings", but rather learning to look at life from God's perspective. Learning to do things God's way. Learning to love those God loves. Letting go of offenses. Letting go of my agendas. Embracing God's will!
• Praying for my family! Looking to God to meet their needs and to fulfill all His will for their lives. For my unsaved family and loved ones, lifting them up to God and asking Him to initiate a move of His Spirit in their lives.
• Share! I need to be willing to share God's heart with others without fear. God gives each one of us things to share with the body, but sometimes I find it a little scary to share something. God doesn't want me to be shy about sharing His love and His truth.
• Choose faith, hope, and trust! God wants me to learn to put off all the depression and discouragement, and to choose to live by faith, expectant hope, and trust.
• Giving. Tithing teaches me to trust God to provide for my needs, to recognize Him as my Provider. It also teaches me to be thankful for all the blessings that He pours out so lavishly.
• As I see God at work in my life and all around me, I need to remember to magnify Him. Just simply to put a "spotlight" on what He has done and is doing! Sometimes, again, I can be hesitant to share what I see Him doing, but I NEED to learn to magnify Him and praise Him! It encourages me and encourages those who hear it!!
• Rather than trying to "fit in" with those around me, to be acceptable to them, I need to set my heart on shaping myself to the mold of Jesus! Pleasing God should be far and away more important than pleasing those around me.
• Church! I need to remember to pray for my church! I need to be seeking God's will for our church and for the body. I need to be listening for what He has to say regarding our church. And I need to be sharing what I am hearing Him say. I also need to be praying for the greater Body of Christ throughout the world, my brothers and sisters in the Lord. Asking Him for insight and leading and strength for His Body and it faces challenges and opposition. What is the Lord wanting to say to His people. How does He want us to live. I need to be praying that our ears and hearts would be open to His direction.

I am sure that there are so many more things that I need to remember! It just seems that it is so difficult to keep one idea in my head longer than 10 minutes. So, I thought writing them down in this way would help. Hope that one or two will encourage you. Perhaps you could come up with your own list of things that God wants you to remember.

Love,
Ev

The god you serve

Everything in your spiritual life depends on the sort of God you worship. Because the character of the worshipper will always be molded by the character of what he worships. If it is a cruel and revengeful god, the worshipper will be the same, but if it is a loving, tender, forgiving, unselfish God, the worshipper will be transformed slowly, wonderfully, into this likeness. Hannah Whitall Smith

Oh, Lord, that I could more reflect Your likeness! That I could be more as Christ is. And, O what an amazing wonder to know such a God and to serve such a One as You are!! You are so far beyond any god that we could ever imagine or design for ourselves. I love You so much, my Savior, my Lord, my God!!

Major Adjustments

Amazing!

This morning, as I was preparing for my quiet time, the Lord really spoke to my heart telling me that He "wants to teach me how to follow Him in all the day by day areas of my life. He wants me to start out the day asking Him to lead me in all things: work, eating, drinking, activities - even asking Him when to sleep and what time to set the alarm to get up! Quite a scary thing for me, because I know it will change my life dramatically." If you know me at all, you can guess what an overwhelming thought this is. I can give up a lot of things to God without a second thought, but giving Him lordship of my eating and drinking choices (did you know I am a Pepsi addict?) and my sleeping choices is a really scary thing to do. I love my food, I love my Pepsi, and I love to be just curled up in my bed watching TV or sleeping. But I really felt God impress this on my heart. And He drove this home as I opened my study in Experiencing God and found that it was all about this subject!! Hard to believe that Henry Blackaby would know what God was saying to my heart this morning. (LOL!)

Until you are ready to make any change necessary to follow and obey what God has said, you will be of little use to God.

And that is the agony of it. God is really showing me that I can continue on "obeying and following" Him in the "big things," and He will let me continue playing church. Knowing the right things to say, understanding what the truth is, enjoying glimpses of His face, I will still continue to live a crippled walk, never knowing the full power of a truly surrendered life that is filled with Holy Spirit! How sad a life that is. You can see it (from a distance), you know what a life filled by His Spirit really is, yet you miss it totally because something is of more value to you. Something so worthless and so deadly and so ugly, is something you have convinced yourself that you cannot live without. And so you surrender the most beautiful, most valuable, most wonderful life imaginable in order to hold on to it.

If you think of me, please pray that God will give me the will and the ability to do what He is calling me to. Right now I am shaking and my knees are knocking.

Love,
Ev

Knowing God

Oh, Wow!! I am currently in the process of copying my "Mini-Me Journal" (I know. It is weird.) over to a new book. So, things that had meant so much to me at the time but were forgotten are hitting me afresh. And, now the dilemma, what to share with you? Hmmmm.

I guess one of the first things to come my way after I wrote my previous Thought, was a quote by Albert Einstein:

"The only source of knowledge is experience."

Amazingly, after reading that quote, I opened Experiencing God to do my study for the evening, and the quote was a perfect introduction for the study. Here are some quotes from the study for that night:

"When people see something happen that only God can do, they come to know God."

"Our world is not seeing God because we are not attempting anything that only God can do."

"Let the world watch God at work, and He will attract people to Himself."

I guess it reinforces for me the thought that the only way to come to know God personally is to see and experience Him at work, to experience Him personally, to hear His voice for one's self. Any other way leads only to a superficial "knowing ABOUT" Him. .

Then, this morning I read an inspirational article that talked about the coming year being an "adventure." An adventure is definitely something that includes surprises and unanticipated twists and turns. There may be unexpected obstacles and forks in the road. If we are going to navigate the year ahead (and those that follow), we MUST recognize the voice of our Shepherd. We MUST KNOW Him!! Reading about Him in the Bible, hearing about Him in a sermon, watching a movie on His life won't be enough. We must KNOW Him personally! We must KNOW Him well enough to trust Him when the way before us is clouded in the mist of suffering and confusion. We must KNOW Him well enough that we will step off the shore when He calls us to walk on the water. We must recognize HIS voice from the midst of the babble of the world and our own confusing thoughts and fears and desires.

Are you ready for the adventure that lies ahead? Can you hear Him calling to you? And, when you reach out to others with the reality of Christ Jesus, are you telling them ABOUT Him, giving them descriptions and quoting Scriptures about Him? Or, are you allowing them to see God doing something in your life that only He can do? Are you letting the world watch God at work in and through you so that they can come to know Him by experience? I'm asking myself the same questions.

Love,
Ev

Experiencing God!

Last night was our study group. We have been studying the book "Experiencing God" by Henry Blackaby. I love this study and, by the way, I highly recommend it as a wonderful study on the Christian walk.

The study and discussion we had last night were such a blessing to me. It reminded me of the awe-some gift we have in Christ Jesus. In particular, I was reminded again of the wonder that God, creator and sustainer of the universe, desires a very personal and real relationship with me, with every one of us.

God has not just handed down a basic instruction manual for us to follow in this life; He has not given us a list of commandments, principles, and procedures to follow; nor has He kept His distance by choosing this or that "special" person to be His spokesperson for the rest of us. No, God, in Christ Jesus, has thrown wide the gates of heaven, beckoning us into the throne room, right up to His side. And, you could also say that in Holy Spirit, He has come down to us. He has chosen to enter right into our hearts and our lives, where He is ever-present.

It is amazing and wonderful to understand that God has chosen to have an on-going relationship with each one of us that is as exciting and as personal as we will allow it to be. In particular, it is amazing how God speaks to us and leads us, often in very specific ways. Can you imagine God directing someone to drive off the highway and leading him very specifically to a stranger in a phone booth in order for that stranger and his family to come to Christ? That was a testimony we heard last night!

Such testimonies just make you want to shout "Hallelujah!" But at the same time, they make you want to push in nearer; they give you a restless hunger for more of Him in your life!

So, I ask you, how much of God are you experiencing in your life on a daily basis? How often do you hear His voice or recognize that He has just touched your heart? Are you satisfied with just "living a good life," or just knowing that heaven will someday be your home? Heaven sounds so wonderful, but you can have the most awesome part of heaven right here and now in the very Person and presence of God Himself with you and in you in very tangible and practical ways. The question is, do you want it? Are you hungry for it? Or, are you willing to settle for the outward, shadowy form of the Christian life.

Love,
Ev

It is amazing, sometimes, the way God works in a life. With all that has been happening, I tend to be so distracted from what really is going on. Sometimes, though, it is not so much that I am distracted as it is that I don't want to see what is happening.

I met with a dear friend last night to chat and catch up with one another; we haven't gotten together since before the holidays. What a nice time we had chatting with one another and catching up. Both of us had burdens to share and help to offer one another.

As we talked, somehow we dredged up an ongoing situation in my life, and my friend offered some godly insight and wisdom that I wasn't expecting and wasn't really wanting to hear. I had all my excuses, arguments, and reasons to dismiss what she had to say, and I left feeling thoughtful and worried that she may be right.

This morning as I did my study, God just seemed to zero in on the subject and gave me a peace about the whole thing, with perhaps even a little sense of anticipation. I am in a Bible Study right now, and we are studying Experiencing God by Henry Blackaby (a really awesome study that I highly recommend). So as I was going over my study this morning, the first things to catch my eye were:

You cannot know the truth of your circumstances until you have heard from God. He is Truth! Truth is present and active in your life!

Do not evaluate your situation until you have heard from Jesus. He is Truth.

Two words in a Christian's language cannot go together: 'No, Lord!' . . . Do not proceed until you can honestly say, 'Whatever You want of me, Lord, I will do it.'

Firstly, I had not really asked God about the situation. I had reasoned in my heart the circumstances and what I should do. Secondly, I did not know whether I wanted to hear what He had to say or that I could answer 'yes'. Nevertheless, as I was meditating on this, God's grace was so good as to melt my heart and bring me to the point of being willing to hear what He had to say.

The study then went on to talk about the times of decision in the history of the Israelites and the altars that they erected to mark those times and to remember God's activity in their lives. Henry Blackaby calls these Spiritual Markers in our lives and says that they provide us with opportunities to share with others about God's activity on behalf of His people. This reminded me of my Thoughts, and how I can share what God is doing in my life with you.

Another thing he mentioned in the study is the way God tends to rehearse His previous activity in our lives so that we can see His perspective on what is happening in the present. That is why I love my journals, they connect me to all the spiritual markers along the path of my life.

When God is ready for you to take a new step or direction in His activity, it will always be in sequence with what He has already been doing in your life. He does not go off on tangents or take meaningless detours. He builds your character in an orderly fashion with a divine purpose in mind.

As I looked back over my life, I could see how this new situation is somewhat related to what God has been doing in my life. And this helped me so much to realize that this is not something new or something I should be afraid of. I have faced similar situations in the past and been blessed through them. I began to look at this situation as a new leg in the journey of my life.

Then, what do you know, when I logged in to my email, I came across an inspirational email that began by quoting my life's verse. It then went on to talk about the "Sacred Journey" God is calling us to. Wow!! Nearly knocked my socks off (except I was barefoot at the time). A second inspirational email finished with the quote: "The adventure is about to begin . . .".

So, I'm not sure what God is doing. I have some ideas and I am asking Him to guide me into His timing for the situation and His ways of walking through this. And I invite you to join me in the sacred journey ahead, whatever that is in your life. The adventure is about to begin and continue for each one of us.

Blessings in Christ Jesus our Lord and the Author and Finisher of our faith,
Ev

Model Christians

Hi! This morning in my quiet time, I started out by reading some of the things I have kept in my "Mini-Me Journal" and it prompted a thought that I would like to share with you:

There is no such thing as a model Christian. Every one of us is unique and meant to be so. Because you see others whom you admire for their faith, love, wisdom, or goodness does not mean God wants you to be like them. God created you as a unique member of the body, and He wants to use you, your life, as He created you. I have many people in my life that I admire so much, and often I can become discouraged because I don't measure up to them as I see them.

I see their wisdom, their ministry, their kindness and love, or their accomplishments and then look at my own life and see myself lacking. Then the really sad part is that I don't see within me the nature nor the motivation to do the things I see them doing. Well, i realized that God did not design me to be a "Helen," a "Sarina," a "Neva," a "Ruth," a "Debbie," a "Monika," or a "Brenda." (Oh, wow!!! I could name a handful more of you that I look at with love and admiration! Sorry, I hope this doesn't become about whose name I did or did not include.)

Of course, that is not to say that I cannot use them as examples and encouragement to grow in certain areas. I long so much to love others as I Monika loved me. But I should not expect nor strive to become all that they are. Nor should I berate myself for not measuring up to them in those areas in which they shine. I need to go to God to learn from Him who He has created me to be, which will be a lifelong journey of discovery. And then I need to walk with Him day by day to find the ways He has wants to include me in the work He is doing.

I hope this blesses you as it did me. Just being inspired from God was such a blessing for me, and I thank God.

As I said, I love you all. Each one of you has blessed my life so richly, and I admire each one of you for the ways that I see God using you to minister to the hearts and minds of those around you!! You are each a beautiful and unique and glorious gift from the Lord for my life.

Love,

Ev

Depression - A State of Mind

Dearest Friends:

I want to apologize to many of you who responded to my previous email. I intended to write back to you thanking you for your concern and letting you know that I am perhaps not as badly off as I may have led you to believe. However, I seem to be having such a difficult time writing or even talking about this place I am in at the moment, so much so that I have been putting off my responses hoping things would improve.

This is so difficult to write or talk about, so forgive me if this comes off disjointed (I keep deleting and rewriting sentences). Again, thank you all so much for your loving concern and your encouragement in response to that email. You bless me more than you will ever know.

So, where am I? I have been asking myself the same question. I am better. The sadness, anxiety, and trouble focusing have lifted. I am able to cope with my day to day life again. But I am not where I would hope to be. It is rather like being dissociated a little from the normal ups and downs of life. I am no longer sad or anxious, but neither am I happy and interested in life. Even the most exciting events seem like a lot of work. The passion of my life has become uninteresting or just too much bother, and curling up with my covers pulled up over my head seems much more appealing.

I am OK though, so you do not have to worry about me.

I wrote the above about 3 days ago and saved it as a draft because I got busy with work AND because it was so hard to write or to even know what I wanted to say.

For the past couple of days I have been feeling a bit better, so I thank God. I read something that I think helped a little, I found it in my "Mini-Me Journal." I had it written down, but I cannot remember if it was a quote or if it was something that God had impressed on me directly at the time.

When it feels as though God has gone or is hiding, think of Him as standing just behind you, just out of sight, ready to catch you, teaching you to trust that He will always be there for you.

I tend to think it is something that I wrote down at some point because it is such a run-on sentence. LOL! It is so easy when you are not hearing God's voice (whether it is that He isn't speaking or that you aren't listening) to feel as though you are on your own. It is NEVER true. When you are His child, He is always right there with you, always ready to catch you and to bless you.

I have also been helped by the study we are doing on Wednesday nights, Experiencing God by Henry Blackaby. He gives some good direction for when you are in a time of God's silence:

• Pray through a sin checklist (in other words, examine your heart for any unconfessed sin). Confess and repent, making things right.
• Continue doing the last thing God told you, as well as the things you know to do. (reading/studying the Bible, prayer, fellowship with other believers, etc.).
• Go back to God believing that He will let you know what is happening when and if you need to know. In other words, Ask Him and trust Him.
• Put away discouragement, guilt, and self-pity.
• Adjust your life to an attitude of hopeful expectation, faith and trust. Expectation that God is doing something deep in your life.

So, as I said, I am feeling a bit better. Again, I am so sorry for not responding sooner to everyone. It is such a difficult place to be, so hard to communicate and reach out to others. So difficult to even get your thoughts straight or to know what you are thinking/feeling. I love you all and thank you all so much for your prayers, your concern, your encouragement, and your love!!

Love,
Ev