Do you want a life that is more than ordinary?
I have been wanting to post something, but I seem to have trouble finding time, time free of distractions when I can think clearly. I came across a quote by Oswald Chambers a few days ago that really started me thinking:
Why aren't you a saint? It is either that you do not want to be a saint or that you do not believe that God can make you into one.
My initial thought was that I don't believe that God can make me into a "saint". I guess experience has shown me that I fail time after time and fall so far short of what a saint ought to be. What should a saint be? Not necessarily a perfect person, but rather one who is wholeheartedly set on following the Lord, day by day, moment by moment seeking to be obedient and God-centered in all that they do. A person who praises and obeys God in all things.
I am so inconsistent, just like water, first going this way and then that. I believe God is able in the abstract sense, but based on my experience of my failures, faithlessness, and inconsistency, I really struggle to believe that I can be changed. I want God's best for my life, to be molded into the image of Christ. But I am so unwilling to put forth consistent effort. I am so unwilling to be disciplined.
My flesh is so strong and my spirit is so weak and careless. In all honesty, I am struggling to believe that God can do anything with me.
Interestingly, I reread the same quote the following day, and totally went a different direction. Rather than focusing on God's ability to change me in a saint and my belief as to whether He can, I was caught by the phrase "that you do not want to be a saint." And I wondered, do I want to be a saint, truly? I say I do, I pray to be, but as I examined my heart, I wondered whether I truly want that.
A few days before I had thought about the differences between following the flesh and following the Spirit. There is some relationship between the two ideas at least in my mind. To follow the Spirit would be so very different from the life I currently lead, it would be the essence of being a saint.
Do I want to be a saint? Well, initially, the thought of changing my life so completely is scary. Such a change of life is almost like becoming a totally different person. But then there is something more to this than just the fear. It may be related to my mother's claim that she wants to be an "indian" rather than a "chief." The sense that it is somehow more virtuous to be just one of the crowd and to not try to be a leader or to reach for more in life, just being content with a life of mediocrity.
I just want to this by saying that part of this is the sense that I don't want others to think I'm something that I am not, that I'm better than I really am. And, at the same time, I don't want to put any barrier between myself and others, I don't want others to think that I am at all any better than they are or, worse, that I believe I am.
It seems that there is something inside my heart (and maybe in yours) that wants to remain just one of the crowd, to just reach for the "average" existence.
Isn't that strange and sad? While there is this longing in me to be all out for Christ, to be passionate and to encourage others into a passionate relationship with Him, yet I am fighting to fit in and not look as though I "think" I'm better than anyone else. Because of the fear of what others think, I try to remain one of the crowd, to be anonymous and unnoticed.
UGH! It is so contradictory! (Isn't that the nature of man?)
So I believe that I see that this a part of the battle between the spirit and the flesh. It isn't just a battle for physical comfort and desires, there is also a soulish element here in the desires for safety, acceptance, recognition, etc.
Along with cravings and habits, I need to give up my image of who I am and should be. If I accept the idea that I am and should be a nobody, a nothing, that I should be invisible and unnoticed, than my life will be of very little meaning.
The really sad part in all of this is that if we continue to believe these lies, the lies that say it is better to be average, mediocre, to not stick out, to be one of the crowd, we cease to strive for excellence. We sit safely in our commonness and the world loses out on what we could have been, we lose out on who we could have been, God's plan and purpose for our lives is lost. We miss out on a life that is more than ordinary!
We (I) need to overcome the fear, expectations, images, comfort-zones, and lies that keep us hiding and retreating from God's will for us. We need to overcome the fear of being 'a saint.' And there is at least one example in Scripture that I can look to. Moses fought against God's will for his life. Perhaps he even sabotaged himself and his leadership by his reluctance to step out of the crowd to lead.
And, in Christ Jesus, we have an example of One who led others and yet remained open, accepting, and welcoming even with the lowliest child. We can take encouragement that it is possible.
So I encourage each of you even as I try to encourage myself, let's press on for the high-calling of God in Christ Jesus to reach for all that He has for us and for all that He is calling us to be. Let us not be deceived into thinking that we have nothing to give. In Christ Jesus we have so much to give and to do, let's not settle for the mediocrity of the world nor be crippled by the fears of man. Let's reach out for the life that is MORE THAN ORDINARY.
Love,
Ev
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