Well, last time I shared that things were changing, and they have!
A little background: In 2007, my son and daughter-in-law moved out to Arizona from the wonderful Chicagoland area. My youngest son and I decided to move as well because I really wanted us to have one another nearby. To give us all time to settle in, we rented a house togeter, and lived there a couple of years. Unbeknownst to us, the landlord was not paying his mortgage even as we were paying him rent, and we received a notice that the house was in foreclosure.
My middle son told us that he was planning on buying a house in the area, and wondered if we would like to rent it from him. Which we did. Long story short, my youngest son moved out some time ago to be closer to his employment, but I have been living here with my son and his family all this time.
However, at the first of the year, my son decided they wanted their own place (can you blame them) and they moved out as of the first of this month. So, for the past few weeks, I have been living on my own!!
Believe me, I was so nervous about the whole thing. Would I be lonely, would I be nervous at night, would I be able to take care of the house? I just want you all to know, God is so good!! He has blessed me with such peace and joy living here on my own. The quiet is so calming and restful, and the privacy is so nice. I actually think that some of my depression is resolving in the quiet.
That is not to say that I don't miss my family. I DO!!! I miss my grandbabies so much! But I believe that God has really blessed us all through this move. I am sure that my son and his family are totally enjoying the privacy of their own home and not feeling that I am looking over their shoulders all the time (that was NEVER my intention). Anyway, I am so excited about this adventure. I believe it will give me the time and the peace to step into whatever God has planned for me now. I am so hoping and praying that it includes writing!!
Anyway, now for the Introvert bit.
You may or may not have guessed that I am an introvert by nature. I always have been, and it explains so much about why I was so very different from my brother and sister when I was growing up. For so many years, I thought there was something wrong with me because of the difference. But I am thankful now for being an introvert! I wouldn't want to be any different than I am (at least in this sense).
I am still learning what it means to be an introvert. Recently, I have been reading a book called The Introvert Advantage, by Marti Olsen Laney, and it is so interesting to find that something I really felt was 'weird' about me, is rather common of introverts. For example, the author writes of a friend who confessed that she only allows herself two comments "per seminar." "She feared, as many introverts do, that she would take up too much space. We reminded her that we wanted to hear her valuable comments."
Wow! I actually stopped up short as I read that. It fit me to a 'T.' I am ALWAYS worried that I talk too much. That is, when I actually talk. Interestingly, "introverts don't talk for talk's sake." I seem to go in spits and spats when I talk. Either getting me to comment is like pulling teeth, or I feel as though I go on and on and on about something.
I confess, I OFTEN feel as though I have dominated a conversation, and like the author's friend, I often limit myself to a set number of comments per session when I meet with others. My dilemma is that I want to give God the freedom to use me in any way that He so chooses, and He seems to use me most often through speaking and writing. So, I often find myself in this place of discomfort and the struggle to know when to talk and when to stop. But it is nice to know that there is nothing 'weird' about it, it is just one of the common issues that introverts face.
You know, it so interesting learning to understand who you are and to realize that God has made you specifically as He has to fill a very specific place in this world. No, I am not like my brother or sister. I am not like my daughter-in-law. I am not like ANYONE else. And that is SUCH a GOOD thing! I don't have to try to be more like them, AND I can also give them the freedom to be just who God made them to be. I don't have to wonder why they aren't more 'spiritual' like me. LOL!!! (That was a joke.)
It's about freedom to walk in the Spirit as He leads rather than the strictures of legalistically trying to conform to someone's idea of what a Christian or a person should look like, act like, and sound like. It's the joy of getting to know the person that God intends me to be throughout eternity! And the joy of getting to know my brothers and sisters in the Lord for the person God intends them to be! I love it!!
Love,
Ev
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