Getting out of the Boat

"Lord, if it's You," Peter replied, "tell me to come to You on the water."
"Come," He said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.  But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"
Immediately Jesus reached out His hand and caught him.  "You of little faith," He said, "why did you doubt?"
And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down.
Matthew 14:28-32

I have read that many times.  However, as I read it this evening, I noticed that as they climbed into the boat, "the wind died down."

So interesting!  Jesus could have calmed the wind at any time in this situation, but He allowed it to howl and rage until they got into the boat.

Perhaps if He had calmed it earlier, Peter's stepping out of the boat to join Him walking on the water would have meant so much less.  He may have simply strode up to Jesus and felt such pride and accomplishment in himself, in his bravery.  Or, perhaps he wouldn't have gone out of the boat at all.  Perhaps the storm calmed and Jesus walking peacefully across the smooth sea would not have drawn Peter out of the boat at all.

Yes, Peter got out of the boat in the midst of the storm!  He walked off toward Jesus, walking atop liquid water.  And, yes, he was overcome by fear at the roaring wind and waves.  BUT He got out of the boat, he walked on the water!  I cannot think of another mention of anyone other than Christ and Peter walking on water. 

I get so caught up in fear and especially in fear of failure or in the overwhelming guilt and shame of having failed.  But you know what, failing isn't as important as it can seem.  If I could just get it into my head that the amazing wonder of doing something new and terrifying and amazing is more important than the fact that I may have failed at it this time, perhaps I'd be more willing to step out of the boat.  I truly need to let go of the fear of failure and of all the self-recriminations when I do fail, and get excited about the fact that I tried something I haven't done before.  I imagine that, although Peter might have felt some chagrin at his doubting, he will never forget the amazing experience of getting out of the boat and taking those initial steps toward Jesus.

Another thing I want to remember is that maybe the Lord is allowing the wind to howl and the waves to roar that I might have the chance to face my fears and step out of the boat.