Mary

My mind has been really taken up with the idea of God being our focus and our desire! A few weeks ago I spent some time with the Lord with this on my mind. I guess sometimes I think that we all spend so much time with God focused on our needs, on getting through with our reading or study for the day, or on our thoughts and feelings that we barely recognize God Himself. So, anyway, as I began praying, I asked God if He had anything that He wanted to say to me.

The days are coming and swiftly when there will no longer be a woman who sits alone to seek My face.

Well, this really stopped me, and I didn't know what that meant. I mean, surely as long as God's people remain in the world there will be those who see His face and long to hear His voice.

So few Marys, so many Marthas. They are trading in the glory of the Lord for their own glory.

Of course, with my mind where it had been, seeking God as the focus of our desires, I worried that these words were mere echoes of my own heart and not truly from the Lord. And they may have been. But I am sharing them with you in case they may speak to your heart as they did to mine. As I prayed to recognize the truth, I recommend you do the same.

As I thought on those words, I responded that even though I tend to have more of a Mary-spirit, my desire being to seek Him for Himself, I still get too caught up in other things, even in good, spiritual, godly things. Even when I take the time to see Him, I usually spend most of my time in studying the word and writing my thoughts and insights. In realizing this I felt such conviction for allowing ANYTHING to come before Him. It occurred to me that I let just about everything in my life come before Him.

I confessed my idolatry and my carelessness, asking God to forgive me for allowing everything to push Him out. For even allowing my Bible study to push Him to the side.

But you know, as I thought about it, even if I were to push all of the world out of my life, there would still be so much of the 'good' that I 'ought' to be doing as a Christian. Sometimes it just seems so overwhelming. Just imagine trying to pray daily for all the needs and the situations in your life, your family and friends needs, the crises of the world, the unsaved, etc. Sometimes it seems as though you could spend hours before the Lord interceding for all the needs, and still not cover it all.

One Thing ...

I heard that phrase in my heart and it reminded me that Jesus said to Martha in regards to Mary, "Only one thing is necessary." He continued, "Mary has chosen the best part." So my heart cried out, "Lord, please help me to choose the best part!"

And I cried out to the Lord that there would NEVER be a time when there is no one who will sit at His feet and seek Him for Himself! I asked Him to call forth Marys to seek His face, to set aside the things of this world together with the 'good' things of the faith. That He would draw out those who will pour out their lives in devotion rather than service alone, or rather that they would pour out their lives in service that flows from their devotion and passion for Him and His glory.

It can be so difficult to understand and then to help others to understand the value of the Marys. They seem so self-centered, even as Martha believed, wanting only to enjoy His presence. Churches and pastors do not want Marys. They prefer Marthas, believing there is so much work and ministry to be done. Books have been written, sermons preached, groups formed, all to get God's people busy and involved in ministry.

Oh, I know, and I firmly believe that God has given the church the mandate to "go and make disciples." There is work to be done! There is service to be rendered. And, in truth, there are SO MANY who do not serve and do not seek, many who are content to just show up on Sunday. I long to see those who are just visiting on Sundays desiring Him, hungering for His Word, thirsting for His face, and finding their place in serving Him. I LONG to see the church drinking deeply from His presence and His beauty and then going forth in that passion to fill the world with the knowledge of Him and His glory.

And I felt the Lord saying:

Encourage the Marthas. Bring them to My feet. Bid them to be refreshed and renewed in My presence.

Draw out the Marys. Give them courage to SIT, courage to stand against the pressure to do and to serve. Remind them that they have chosen the best part, they must not let it be taken from them.

And, again, I do not believe that this is a mandate from the Lord for us to be idle. Rather it is His call for us to love Him first and foremost with all our hearts, souls, minds, and strength. He is calling us to seek Him first, to fill our hearts and lives fully with His presence, and then to go forth from that filling charged and ready to give our lives to bring all glory and honor to His Name! It is service that comes from a heart overflowing with love for Him and His love for the world. It stands in stark contrast to being "cumbered about much serving." It may be an answer to the burnout that many experience as they go about doing so much in their own strength.

Love,
Ev

The One Thing that is our First Love!

Selfish??

Sometimes it is so hard to figure things out. You feel if you go one way, you're selfish. But if you go the other way, you are losing your grip on the most important thing in the world.

Wow, if I didn't know what I was talking about, I would read those words with amazement at my self-centeredness. I guess the way that I have phrased it makes it sound as though I am the most important thing is the world. NOT what I am talking about at all!

The study "God is the Gospel" that I am involved in right now is so on-track with my own personal viewpoint that it just makes my heart want to sing and dance, and yet it keeps calling me in deeper and deeper. It is exactly where I want to go!

So, in my prayer this morning, I was just expressing to God my longing for more of HIM! In our most recent DVD portion of the study, John Piper said that to pleasing God or doing good is ANYTHING that we do as an expression of our love for Him. EVERYTHING that flows from our love and satisfaction in HIM is a good work!

I try to do that, I really do, but boy does life come crashing in as soon as I turn away from that place of prayer. I so quickly forget my heart's desire to love Him in everything I do, and I go back to doing things in my own strength and from my own will. God seems to be no where in the mix.

I have read and tried to follow Brother Lawrence's path of "Practicing the Presence" of God, living every moment of the day in the experience of His presence in every moment, every action do unto Him. But as I said, I am so quickly and easily distracted. I want to "pray without ceasing," but again, I barely get an amen into my days.

Remember, I tell myself, I am not to be molded into anyone else's image, not Brother Lawrence's, not my pastor's, not any one of those saints whose lives are such an example of devotion. I remind myself not to be condemned by the "spirituality" and the discipline of others. But at the same time, I long for God to draw me near so that I might "behold His beauty" as much as possible and hear His voice whenever He wants to speak to me.

This morning, I felt God speak to my heart: "Go to the mountains." And I wondered what that meant. I did remember that Jesus often went up on the mountains to be alone with His Father.

Then I heard Him say, "Go to the mountains, pass through the valleys. I am there! Hold tight to what you have and cry out for more!"

Lord, I am crying out for more of You in me!

But as I said, then I think, perhaps I am being selfish! Is this longing for more of Him in my life selfishness? Should I be more concerned with the needs of others? Should I stop wanting more and be giving more? Yet, is there anything greater than HIM in our lives? NO! And I want more of Him! Yes, I am perhaps selfish, but the alternative seems so bleak.

Love,
Ev

The One Thing that is our First Love!

On my mind this evening ...

Hi! I really did intend to start writing more often. AND I have had LOTS on my mind that I have wanted to write about. But I have been so stressed with work and just have not found the time to actually get it typed up for you. UGH!! I am so stressed with work. On top of that, because of work I have "trigger thumb"! Akin to "trigger finger", but it is my thumb that is affected. It's basically tendonitis in the thumb. Don't worry, I have an appointment with an orthopaedic doctor to have it looked at. On top of that, because of the extra time sitting at the computer, I am getting stiffer and stiffer. Headaches are becoming a daily aggravation.

All this to say, I am stressed out with work! And to say that I haven't forgotten you, just really being pushed with work. I stayed up to 4:00 am last night trying to get my latest dataset completed. It is still not done. UGH.

One really neat thing that I will share with you. When my son, Eyad, visited us in March, he drove down from Chicago in a car he bought to use while he was visiting. Because he believes that he will be able to visit more often on his new job, he wants to have a car here to use. The car is a silver Ford Mustang convertable!! Leather seats, and lots of extras. Anyway, he returned to Jordan a week or so ago and is letting us drive his car while he's gone. Woo Hoo!! It is the coolest thing driving with the top down! I tell you, it makes me feel 20 years younger!!

I think I told you that I am in a study right now that I absolutely love!! As I said, lots of good stuff to share with you, and I am hoping to get a little breather here soon (keep saying that, but it hasn't happened yet).

Just a little, since I'm sitting here anyway. It is only 11:00 pm.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways," declares the Lord. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts. For as the rain and snow come down from heaven, and do not return there without watering the earth, and making it bear and sprout, and furnishing seed to the sower and bread to the eater; so shall My Word be which goes forth from My mouth; it shall not return to Me empty, without accomplishing what I desire, and without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it." Isaiah 55:8-11

When I read this as part of my study, it made me think of my son, Eyad. Eyad has the scientific and mathmatical sort of mind (I'm all language and history). He loves talking, reading, and thinking about physics. All of it goes right over my head!

When God speaks even to the smartest of us, it is like Einstein discussing quantum physics with a 2-year-old. We are so limited, even the wisest and smartest of us, in what we know and what we can deduce. Our experience is limited to time. God inhabits eternity; He created time. Such a God is so far beyond us in knowledge, wisdom, understanding, justice, righteousness, and truth, that we cannot even fathom the elementary things of His Word. (Yet, with the Holy Spirit, we are able to understand more than we can in our own limited resource.)

I imagine it is something like the times Eyad has tried to talk to me about the concept of time, and trying to imagine an eternity outside of time. Can you wrap your mind around it? How can you say anything like "Tomorrow, I'm going to go to the beach," if there is no time? What is that like? It boggles my mind! Makes me break out in a sweat just to think of it.

But then the rest of that Scripture. God's words are POWERFUL! He SPOKE the universe (including time) into existence! And I think it is so cool to realize that any time we spend in God's Word, any time we spend listening to His voice, it is not wasted time. We may not immediately see the benefit (just as a farmer will not see the harvest with the first rain), but every little drop will have an effect. Every word and syllable that God has ever said is out there, right now bringing forth life, restoration, healing, peace, and joy!

Listen for His voice, read His Word, let the power of His words have His way in your life. Drink them up, soak them up, and those words will satisfy and produce abundance of joy and life!

Love,
Ev

The One Thing that is our First Love!