RE: The Introverted Leader

Hi! I recently read an article that I thought was excellent. It is on the subject of being an introvert, specifically a Christian leader who is an introvert. It is such a wonderful article that I wanted to share it with you. The comments after the article are particularly interesting as you hear introverts feeling as though they have been validated.

Isn't funny how we seem to think that the world has only one right sort of person, and either we have something wrong with us or someone else has something wrong with them.

I thought this was an especially good article and thought that it might go a long way to helping us all appreciate our differences. BTW, if you haven't guessed, I am an introvert, and I know that I have had times in the past that others have misread my behavior as proud or disinterested simply because I am an introvert.

Anyway, enjoy:
http://www.thomrainer.com/2011/05/the-introverted-leader.php

Love,
Ev

Kitty Flight - And now for a little humor!

In the same issue of the newsletter, I had also included the following story, which I think you will enjoy. I don't remember where I got it, but I think that I was careful to only use a non-copyrighted source. I did not write this. Enjoy:

A pastor had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard but then was afraid to come down. The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc. The kitty would not come down. The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so the pastor decided that if he tied a rope to his car and drove away so that the tree bent down, he could then reach up and get the kitten. He did all this, checking his progress in the car frequently, then figured if he went just a little further, the tree would be bent sufficiently for him to reach the kitten. But as he moved a little further forward ... the rope broke. The tree went "boing," and the kitten instantly sailed through the air out of sight.

The pastor felt terrible. He walked all over the neighborhood asking people if they'd seen a little kitten. No. Nobody had seen a stray kitten. So he prayed. "Lord, I just commit this kitten to Your keeping," and went on about his business. A few days later he was at the grocery store, and met one of his church members.

He happened to look into her shopping cart and was amazed to see cat food. Now this woman was a cat hater and everyone knew it, so he asked her, "Why are you buying cat food when you hate cats so much?" She replied. "You won't believe this," and told him how her little girl had been begging her for a cat, but she kept refusing. Then a few days before, the child had begged again, so the mom finally told her little girl, "Well, if God gives you a cat, I'll let you keep it."

She told the pastor, "I watched my child go out in the yard, get on her knees, and ask God for a cat. And really, Pastor, you won't believe this, but I saw it with my own eyes. A kitten suddenly came flying out of the blue sky, with its paws spread out, and landed right in front of her."

Have a wonderful weekend.

Love,
Ev

Passionate Peter

OK, just came across a copy of the newsletter I created for Calvary Chapel in Lockport, IL, seven years ago. There is an article that I wrote and I thought I would share it with you.

In Luke 22:31-34, 55-62, we read the well-known story of Peter and his denial of Christ after he had declared that he would go with Jesus even unto death. I have often thought how rash and how impetuous Peter was. He wanted to walk on the water, he wanted to build the booths for Jesus, Moses, and Elijah on the Mount of Transfiguration, and he was ready to drink of the cup that Jesus was to drink.

Nevertheless, I have come to see more to Peter. I believe that he truly did want to stand and to follow Jesus to death, but that his flesh was weak. "Lord, with You I am ready to go both to prison and to death."

The interesting thing is that Jesus knew how quickly Peter's flesh would take over. He knew that Peter would deny Him and even prepared him by telling him ahead of time.

When I look at Peter, I remember that although he often failed, he also was the one who most often stepped out, the one who wanted to follow, to believe completely! He made mistakes, he was weak, yet he was the one the Lord trusted to rally the others. He was the one who ran to the tomb, who swam to the shore, who was told to "Feed My sheep!"

Somehow Jesus saw something in Peter that we might miss. The problem with this is that we might also miss what it is He sees in us. We can get to the place of wanting to give up (And, oh boy, that is where I am right now) and to go off on our own because we see ourselves falling short where we expected we could stand.

The interesting thing is that Jesus knew Peter would deny Him and yet He still chose him to lead and to minister. When Peter gave up on himself, Jesus stood by him and restored him with love and gentleness.

Jesus knows all about you (and me). He has known since the beginning of time each time you would fall short of your desires to love and to serve Him. He is not disappointed, not surprised. He has chosen you and He will not give up on you.

Can't tell you how much I needed to hear that, to be reminded. I seem to lead such and up and down existence. One day I am on fire for God, so wrapped up in the wonder of Him and in His great love. The next day I am in a mud puddle of self-pity and distraction. UGH!! I hate this roller-coaster existence. But through it all I can remember that Jesus doesn't give up on me, He doesn't turn His back and walk away shaking His head in disappointment. He is still FOR ME.

Praise God for the wonder that He is!!! I hope this blesses you as it did me.

Love,
Ev

Mary

My mind has been really taken up with the idea of God being our focus and our desire! A few weeks ago I spent some time with the Lord with this on my mind. I guess sometimes I think that we all spend so much time with God focused on our needs, on getting through with our reading or study for the day, or on our thoughts and feelings that we barely recognize God Himself. So, anyway, as I began praying, I asked God if He had anything that He wanted to say to me.

The days are coming and swiftly when there will no longer be a woman who sits alone to seek My face.

Well, this really stopped me, and I didn't know what that meant. I mean, surely as long as God's people remain in the world there will be those who see His face and long to hear His voice.

So few Marys, so many Marthas. They are trading in the glory of the Lord for their own glory.

Of course, with my mind where it had been, seeking God as the focus of our desires, I worried that these words were mere echoes of my own heart and not truly from the Lord. And they may have been. But I am sharing them with you in case they may speak to your heart as they did to mine. As I prayed to recognize the truth, I recommend you do the same.

As I thought on those words, I responded that even though I tend to have more of a Mary-spirit, my desire being to seek Him for Himself, I still get too caught up in other things, even in good, spiritual, godly things. Even when I take the time to see Him, I usually spend most of my time in studying the word and writing my thoughts and insights. In realizing this I felt such conviction for allowing ANYTHING to come before Him. It occurred to me that I let just about everything in my life come before Him.

I confessed my idolatry and my carelessness, asking God to forgive me for allowing everything to push Him out. For even allowing my Bible study to push Him to the side.

But you know, as I thought about it, even if I were to push all of the world out of my life, there would still be so much of the 'good' that I 'ought' to be doing as a Christian. Sometimes it just seems so overwhelming. Just imagine trying to pray daily for all the needs and the situations in your life, your family and friends needs, the crises of the world, the unsaved, etc. Sometimes it seems as though you could spend hours before the Lord interceding for all the needs, and still not cover it all.

One Thing ...

I heard that phrase in my heart and it reminded me that Jesus said to Martha in regards to Mary, "Only one thing is necessary." He continued, "Mary has chosen the best part." So my heart cried out, "Lord, please help me to choose the best part!"

And I cried out to the Lord that there would NEVER be a time when there is no one who will sit at His feet and seek Him for Himself! I asked Him to call forth Marys to seek His face, to set aside the things of this world together with the 'good' things of the faith. That He would draw out those who will pour out their lives in devotion rather than service alone, or rather that they would pour out their lives in service that flows from their devotion and passion for Him and His glory.

It can be so difficult to understand and then to help others to understand the value of the Marys. They seem so self-centered, even as Martha believed, wanting only to enjoy His presence. Churches and pastors do not want Marys. They prefer Marthas, believing there is so much work and ministry to be done. Books have been written, sermons preached, groups formed, all to get God's people busy and involved in ministry.

Oh, I know, and I firmly believe that God has given the church the mandate to "go and make disciples." There is work to be done! There is service to be rendered. And, in truth, there are SO MANY who do not serve and do not seek, many who are content to just show up on Sunday. I long to see those who are just visiting on Sundays desiring Him, hungering for His Word, thirsting for His face, and finding their place in serving Him. I LONG to see the church drinking deeply from His presence and His beauty and then going forth in that passion to fill the world with the knowledge of Him and His glory.

And I felt the Lord saying:

Encourage the Marthas. Bring them to My feet. Bid them to be refreshed and renewed in My presence.

Draw out the Marys. Give them courage to SIT, courage to stand against the pressure to do and to serve. Remind them that they have chosen the best part, they must not let it be taken from them.

And, again, I do not believe that this is a mandate from the Lord for us to be idle. Rather it is His call for us to love Him first and foremost with all our hearts, souls, minds, and strength. He is calling us to seek Him first, to fill our hearts and lives fully with His presence, and then to go forth from that filling charged and ready to give our lives to bring all glory and honor to His Name! It is service that comes from a heart overflowing with love for Him and His love for the world. It stands in stark contrast to being "cumbered about much serving." It may be an answer to the burnout that many experience as they go about doing so much in their own strength.

Love,
Ev

The One Thing that is our First Love!

Selfish??

Sometimes it is so hard to figure things out. You feel if you go one way, you're selfish. But if you go the other way, you are losing your grip on the most important thing in the world.

Wow, if I didn't know what I was talking about, I would read those words with amazement at my self-centeredness. I guess the way that I have phrased it makes it sound as though I am the most important thing is the world. NOT what I am talking about at all!

The study "God is the Gospel" that I am involved in right now is so on-track with my own personal viewpoint that it just makes my heart want to sing and dance, and yet it keeps calling me in deeper and deeper. It is exactly where I want to go!

So, in my prayer this morning, I was just expressing to God my longing for more of HIM! In our most recent DVD portion of the study, John Piper said that to pleasing God or doing good is ANYTHING that we do as an expression of our love for Him. EVERYTHING that flows from our love and satisfaction in HIM is a good work!

I try to do that, I really do, but boy does life come crashing in as soon as I turn away from that place of prayer. I so quickly forget my heart's desire to love Him in everything I do, and I go back to doing things in my own strength and from my own will. God seems to be no where in the mix.

I have read and tried to follow Brother Lawrence's path of "Practicing the Presence" of God, living every moment of the day in the experience of His presence in every moment, every action do unto Him. But as I said, I am so quickly and easily distracted. I want to "pray without ceasing," but again, I barely get an amen into my days.

Remember, I tell myself, I am not to be molded into anyone else's image, not Brother Lawrence's, not my pastor's, not any one of those saints whose lives are such an example of devotion. I remind myself not to be condemned by the "spirituality" and the discipline of others. But at the same time, I long for God to draw me near so that I might "behold His beauty" as much as possible and hear His voice whenever He wants to speak to me.

This morning, I felt God speak to my heart: "Go to the mountains." And I wondered what that meant. I did remember that Jesus often went up on the mountains to be alone with His Father.

Then I heard Him say, "Go to the mountains, pass through the valleys. I am there! Hold tight to what you have and cry out for more!"

Lord, I am crying out for more of You in me!

But as I said, then I think, perhaps I am being selfish! Is this longing for more of Him in my life selfishness? Should I be more concerned with the needs of others? Should I stop wanting more and be giving more? Yet, is there anything greater than HIM in our lives? NO! And I want more of Him! Yes, I am perhaps selfish, but the alternative seems so bleak.

Love,
Ev

The One Thing that is our First Love!

On my mind this evening ...

Hi! I really did intend to start writing more often. AND I have had LOTS on my mind that I have wanted to write about. But I have been so stressed with work and just have not found the time to actually get it typed up for you. UGH!! I am so stressed with work. On top of that, because of work I have "trigger thumb"! Akin to "trigger finger", but it is my thumb that is affected. It's basically tendonitis in the thumb. Don't worry, I have an appointment with an orthopaedic doctor to have it looked at. On top of that, because of the extra time sitting at the computer, I am getting stiffer and stiffer. Headaches are becoming a daily aggravation.

All this to say, I am stressed out with work! And to say that I haven't forgotten you, just really being pushed with work. I stayed up to 4:00 am last night trying to get my latest dataset completed. It is still not done. UGH.

One really neat thing that I will share with you. When my son, Eyad, visited us in March, he drove down from Chicago in a car he bought to use while he was visiting. Because he believes that he will be able to visit more often on his new job, he wants to have a car here to use. The car is a silver Ford Mustang convertable!! Leather seats, and lots of extras. Anyway, he returned to Jordan a week or so ago and is letting us drive his car while he's gone. Woo Hoo!! It is the coolest thing driving with the top down! I tell you, it makes me feel 20 years younger!!

I think I told you that I am in a study right now that I absolutely love!! As I said, lots of good stuff to share with you, and I am hoping to get a little breather here soon (keep saying that, but it hasn't happened yet).

Just a little, since I'm sitting here anyway. It is only 11:00 pm.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways," declares the Lord. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts. For as the rain and snow come down from heaven, and do not return there without watering the earth, and making it bear and sprout, and furnishing seed to the sower and bread to the eater; so shall My Word be which goes forth from My mouth; it shall not return to Me empty, without accomplishing what I desire, and without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it." Isaiah 55:8-11

When I read this as part of my study, it made me think of my son, Eyad. Eyad has the scientific and mathmatical sort of mind (I'm all language and history). He loves talking, reading, and thinking about physics. All of it goes right over my head!

When God speaks even to the smartest of us, it is like Einstein discussing quantum physics with a 2-year-old. We are so limited, even the wisest and smartest of us, in what we know and what we can deduce. Our experience is limited to time. God inhabits eternity; He created time. Such a God is so far beyond us in knowledge, wisdom, understanding, justice, righteousness, and truth, that we cannot even fathom the elementary things of His Word. (Yet, with the Holy Spirit, we are able to understand more than we can in our own limited resource.)

I imagine it is something like the times Eyad has tried to talk to me about the concept of time, and trying to imagine an eternity outside of time. Can you wrap your mind around it? How can you say anything like "Tomorrow, I'm going to go to the beach," if there is no time? What is that like? It boggles my mind! Makes me break out in a sweat just to think of it.

But then the rest of that Scripture. God's words are POWERFUL! He SPOKE the universe (including time) into existence! And I think it is so cool to realize that any time we spend in God's Word, any time we spend listening to His voice, it is not wasted time. We may not immediately see the benefit (just as a farmer will not see the harvest with the first rain), but every little drop will have an effect. Every word and syllable that God has ever said is out there, right now bringing forth life, restoration, healing, peace, and joy!

Listen for His voice, read His Word, let the power of His words have His way in your life. Drink them up, soak them up, and those words will satisfy and produce abundance of joy and life!

Love,
Ev

The One Thing that is our First Love!

A Message for Moms

"A good mother thinks about her children day and night, even when they are grown, A good mother loves her children in a way that they will never understand. A mom will be there for her children when no one else will. A mom would take a bullet, stand in front of a train, and ask god to take her instead of her child. If you have a child or children that you love as much as i love mine, post this" (A recent Facebook posting)

I am a mom whose sons are grown men. I love them so very much, and I confess that I was not always the mom I should have been. Looking back now I see that so many of the things that upset me and set me off were really nothing of any importance. I let my frustrations with work, with situations, and with external relationships barge into my relationship with my family way too often. You know, I loved my sons, but far too often I was so selfish about my own feelings and frustrations that I exploded on them because they were there, and I felt that they should know what I needed without my having to ask for it.

Even though I believe that I have a wonderful, loving relationship with my sons, I regret that so much of my time with them as they were growing up was spent in me meeting my own goals and plans and desires. All those goals and plans and desires mean so little to me now, and I wish so much that I could have the time back to spend loving on them, playing with them, laughing and enjoying life with them. But the time is gone, they are grown and have their own lives now.

All this just to remind all you moms out there that still have children at home, they are the MOST IMPORTANT people in your life (right after God and your husband). Let the dishes go, let studies and groups pass you by, allow the floor to be filled with toys now and then. I promise you, one day you will wish that you could sit on the floor playing cars or legos with those grown sons. You will wish that you could have a tea party with your baby girl.

Don't allow ANYTHING to become more important to you than they are, not even ministry or service for God. Your children and your husband ARE your ministry. Notice I said your children and your husband. I did not say your house. Your house will not feel the sting of being overlooked or ignored. Your house will not take it to heart if you are upset that it isn't always on top of things as it should be.

Please hear me, I am not saying that you should let your house become an unhealthy and unsafe pigsty. Nor am I saying that you should have no time to yourself and no time to enjoy your favorite things. But as a mom who has had to let her sons go onto their own adult lives, I am so encouraging you to relax, enjoy their short time in your life. I am encouraging you to let the dishes wait until you have spent some time tickling and laughing with them.

One other thing I will share from the message at church this morning. Our children learn what they see at home. If you are frustrated and impatient and upset all the time, they will be too. If you have little time for them, they will soon have little interest or time for you. Remember the popular song, "The Cat's in the Cradle?"

Please, relax, take a breath. Really look into the eyes of your children. The thing they long for more than any high-priced gadgets or any theme parks is you. They want your time, they want your attention, they want to know they are more important to you than the clean floor, the new drapes, the chat you are having with your BFF (can't believe I am actually using those letters).

Just saying . . .

Love,
Ev

The One Thing that is our First Love